My musings on C-Day

Dear Sweet, Beautiful, Patient, Readers,

I've had several of you ask me when I'm going to be posting my perspective of C-Day. I do realize that C-Day was on Tuesday, and it is already Friday afternoon as I type this, but the truth of the matter is this: I could not write a response so soon. Why, you might ask?

Simple: C-Day was a disaster, a clusterfuck, and a complete waste of time.

The reason I didn't write this article on Tuesday is because it would have literally been that last sentence repeated over and over again. By the end of Tuesday, September 4th, I was in a bad state. I had spent the day trying so hard to believe it was all going to be okay, only for it to collapse into awfulness.

I'm feeling a bit more collected now, though. I've had time to regain my senses, think, and review the day for what it was. That being said, I still feel about the same, but now I believe I can manage to put it into words that can be spoken in front of impressionable children or in polite society.

A quick warning: My experience is limited to what I personally did during the day, so I can't say that I speak for everyone. Of course, when have I ever spoken for everyone? Regardless, I'll break up my analysis based on the events as they happened for me.

Convocation
The day started out with me waking up way too early. I had the strangest dream that I had received an important memo via email about the procedure for seniors that were walking during convo. Oh wait, that was no dream: I had received an email about 2 weeks ago. Of course, I forgot, so I rushed and showed up--I thought--about 20 minutes late. As it should so happen, though, I wasn't the only one who forgot the memo. Most of the guys I talked to had either "not received an memo" or forgot it themselves.

Convocation went well enough. It was hot, Dr. Howard opened the speeches by proclaiming that God must, in fact, be a Tiger. *holds for snickers*  I couldn't help but notice the lack of sophomores and juniors at the events, but hey, who can blame them?

Despite my complete cynicism, though, some of the speeches (particularly the student speeches) were actually pretty good. My favorite part (and please forgive my memory, but I can't recall the student the said it), was when the honor code was applied to the individual: The idea there is that each of us should never lie to ourselves, never cheat ourselves of possibilities, and never steal from....ourselves. I gotta say, I was moved, and spent the next few minutes wondering why I was still attending HSC. Have I been lying to myself? The truth is, yes. I do lie to myself, frequently, but I do it to survive. I pretend like everything is peachy and that people are capable of change, and not really worthy of the contempt I often have for them, but unfortunately, It's not all peachy, and people can be pretty damn awful.

Of course, I'm not leaving this place. Screw that. I've only got the one year left here, and then I'm off to brighter horizons!

Class Speaker
This is where the day took a nose dive straight into the heart of the shit-storm. I have to say, I did not think too strongly of Mr. Thaddeus R. Shelly III of the class of 1975. His discussion on prostitution and pimping--I mean Marketing Myself When My Product is Me-- was filled with the same type of useless drivel that I've been hearing about since my first year in high school about the interviewing process. Quite unfortunately, this was the only part of the presentation that I thought might be useful to an average human. Even that would've been fine, though, if it weren't for the 40 minutes of the presentation that were spent self-glorifying himself and insulting the audience. Naturally, since Mr. Shelly (I'll break here to mention that rule number one is that you are absolutely forbidden to call Mr. Shelly anything but Mr. Shelly unless he invites you to do so.) Since Mr. Shelly is the CEO of Lazard Wealth Management, it is only natural that he would be talking about the business world. Unfortunately, Not only is HSC not a business school, but a lot of the people around me had no intention of entering said business world. For that reason, the message was pretty much lost on me.

To make matters worse, though, I actually paid attention to his one-sided discussion. Aside from my horror at the poor images in his power point (C is for Crappy ClipArt!), I also became subject to his criticism of the capacity of any individual to succeed on his own. "None of you will ever succeed in life if you do not talk to me first." That's the message that I took away from his speech. Now, I do not personally know Mr. Shelly, and I'm sure that he is a decent human being who is only looking out for his fellow man. I'm sure he wants everyone to be able to get jobs---oh wait...what? Oh. He's thoroughly supports outsourcing his jobs? Oh....that's fine too. So even if we do come talk to you, we wont get it...no no...that's fine. We'll manage. . .

I almost walked out of this event. it was a waste of my time and patience. From what I hear, I wasn't the only person who felt this way. Now, I don't have any pure evidence aside from trusted witness testimonials, but I hear that the Junior Class Speaker, a Mr. Joe Ehrmann, was able to get away with saying the only purpose that women serve at Hampden-Sydney College is to be subservient to the men. I really hope that this was misinterpreted, but I wouldn't be surprised if this type of misogynistic statement was endorsed by the school. It wouldn't be the first time. (Also, I have more on that topic later. That has to be an entire post itself).

Community Lunch
..was exactly like lunch on any other day of the week, with only a couple notable differences. The main difference is that, as I walked down the stairs into the commons, I was oddly reminded of Attack of the Clones: everywhere I looked, there were white-shirted clone-spawns mulling about. Despite my horror at the blatant violation of the "No white after Labor Day" law, I was able to get over the fact that every freshman was dressed the same by rationalizing it: C-Day is all about Conformity, so obviously they should all be dressed the same. We need to Celebrate (one of the "C-Themes") our most diverse class ever by making them all look alike!

The food was good, though, and I really can't complain about anything aside from the creepy freshman cultists and the over crowded room (C is for Creepy, Cults, and Crowds).

"Career"
I worked really hard to get my presentation for my quest station together. Dr. Weese, though, worked even harder. I was really excited for what we had going: we were both presenting on film. Dr. Weese was looking at cinematic techniques, and I would be analyzing film as a literary text. We were all set to go and excited to see some students. And so we waited.

and waited.

and waited some more.

Eventually a group of five students showed up: friends of mine that I'd asked to come see our presentation. I'm thankful for them coming to see it, but unfortunately it didn't really improve my mood. I had stressed myself out to prepared for C-Day, and for no end.

Now, from what I hear, other booths got some attention. I attribute our failure to our location at the top of Winston. Students can't be bothered to go upstairs, anyway.

At least I managed to complete my honors proposal during all of the downtime. I just wish all of our hard work hadn't gone to waste. . .

Club Fair/ Community Dinner
Every year during Freshman Orientation there is a Pig-On-The-Point dinner where the clubs get to set up tables to promote themselves, and the community gets to enjoy a pork dinner outside. This year, because the school was afraid of the rain that never came, the event was moved indoors. SO every club at HSC was forced to cram into the cramped space upstairs in Settle Hall. Although both of my club tables received a lot of signatures, the event gave me a tremendous headache. One couldn't hear in there, especially over the raffle announcements that were being projected every five minutes or so. Also, I never got to enter the raffle. The hell is up with that? Oh well. Life (HSC) isn't always (ever) fair.

My day ended at the dinner. I had a serious need to escape back to my room. I know plenty of people took the day off to stay in their rooms, and I wish now that I had done the same.

Conclusion
A short note on the "C-Themes" and I'll wrap this up, I promise.

Convocation: We did, indeed, come together to celebrate achievement, but my "communal bond" to this hell hole is weaker now that ever before, and I have absolutely no desire to "Reaffirm" (or just "affirm") a "commitment to the Hampden-Sydney mission".

Calling: I have yet to hear of anyone taking any of that introspection stuff seriously. I tried--didn't work. I think the best display of students considering their "interests, skills, and passions" were those students who stayed in their rooms playing Call of Duty all day.

Career: I noticed that the Tiger tracks sessions seemed a bit more involved that the Quest Stations, so taht's a positive note. And by working on my honors proposal, I was certainly able to work on my Career as a student. So....plus?

Community: I think the Freshman service projects would've been a lot better if they had bright orange shirts instead of those white things. Then they would've looked like they felt: prisoners.  I talked to ten different freshmen about that part of the day, and they all agreed to skip the projects. "Why would you skip, though? Surely you'd like to help your community, right?" The answers I got varied between "I just got here. It's not my community yet," and my favorite: "I care, but I refuse to be forced to volunteer. If I volunteer, it will be on my terms, not the institution's."

Ceremony: I must have failed to recognize the importance of formal events. Maybe sweating in my graduation robes for a non-graduation purpose was discouraging me.

Celebration: I celebrated the end of the day, does that count?

Thus ends my rant on C-Day. My personal advice: don't waste your time with this next year. Seriously. I don't think it helped. For me, in particular, it actually hurt the way I feel about this school. Plus, I didn't win an iPad (not that I really expected to.) Thanks for reading!

--Your Editor (who is finally relieved to have this all off his chest)
-Walter McCoy

Pre-C-Day Sentiments

Good Morning, Readers.

It is about midnight the morning before Hampden-Sydney C-Day. I'm writing to let you know that no matter what my sentiments after C-Day, I will be writing an honest review of the day. My current sentiments, however, are what keep me awake now. I felt that it would be best to allow the reader the advantage of knowing how I feel about "C-Day" before hand, just so you will all know my expectations going into this ordeal.

First of all, I hate the idea. I think it's rubbish. 90% of the campus doesn't even know what it is even about, and I don't think anyone has really tried very hard to explain it. So poor planning is my first expectation.

Secondly, I don't like the idea of listening to some CEO alumni preach to me about prostitution, or pimping, or whatever "Marketing Myself When My Product Is Me" is supposed to mean. If there were more options, then fine, but God forbid I listen to drivel of this kind for an hour (at least it is only supposed to be an hour.

Complaint three: despite the attempt to bring the community together, the C-Day program hypocritically separates the four classes as though we are not all brothers here at HSC (not that I believe students act like it, but still....IDEAS!). I am a senior this year and I have had three previous years of engagement with my fellow classmates to know that I really don't care to know too many more of them. The majority of the good-natured friends that I have made here are currently Juniors and Sophomores, all of whom intend to skip C-Day. If we're striving for community, can we please try to make it the whole community?

I have many other complaints, but I have to wake up early so I can walk to the complete opposite side of campus and wear a robe in front of a bunch of people who also don't want to be there. I will leave this last note, though: I am really hopeful that my opinion will be changed. C-Day has the express potential to actually be a really great event and I fully intend to go forth with a positive, optimistic attitude. If my hopes are dashed, then expect to hear as much on the next post. If those hopes, however, prove valid, then expect to read a note that expresses not my complete cynicism toward HSC life, but instead a message saying "Good Job, Chris Howard. Good Job, HSC. Kudos!"

Good Night and good reading, my friends.

--Your Editor.

To the new Dining Hall

Hello readers.

Many of you, I'm sure, have had a chance to eat at the dining hall at least once this year.
--and by eat in the dining hall, I really mean stand in line.

Today, unfortunately, was a bit of a --pardon the phrase--clusterfuck of ill planning. Particularly during the 12:30pm  lunch period. I will optimistically assume that it was just because they were unaware of what a crowd it would be, but let's get serious: MWF lunches at that time have been overcrowded for years.

Well, anyway, rather than waiting for changes to be made without any of my input, I decided to give some feedback to the dining hall. I really hope they don't hate me for it, but if they do, then hey: that's my life.

Here's the letter I wrote. I figured some of my readers might enjoy it.

"This is my fourth year at HSC, so I've had plenty experience with the dining hall under the dark reign of Aramark. I was pleased to learn that my senior year would be ruled over by a new service, and looked forward to this prospect. My first few days back, too, before classes started, I was pleased with what I saw: Fresh, tasty food (food which actually looked like food), a clean tasteful atmosphere, and attractive presentation. 

I was a bit skeptical, though. Despite how much I enjoyed those first couple of days, I had a horrible suspicion dwelling in the pit of my stomach--I quickly realized that all of these attractive features of a dining hall came at a price: speed. In olden days, all that was required was a quick plate-bun-patty-bun-fries maneuver to get food out to the waiting students. Now, however, it seems like the food has yet to be cooked, and THEN must be plated neatly and fashionably in a paper-lined basket before it can be placed under the heat lamps for the students to grab.

Now, I appreciate that you at least appear to care about what food is being served to us students, but I find myself in a bind. I am a very busy student (it IS my senior year, after all), and I am on a tight schedule. While I was in the dining hall today, I waited ten minutes before any food even appeared at the grill station (only one of the stations plagued by this catastrophe), and when this basket of food was taken, it was a good five minutes more before another basket showed up. Since I was in a rush, I just grabbed some pizza, ate it, and left. This tiny meal is not really enough to feed me on a good day, and it has not been a good day. 

My feedback, then, is this: please do not sacrifice speed for presentation. Our HSC dining hall isn't really a restaurant and has never been the greatest food on the planet, but at least it has fed us with time to spare so that we may continue on our way. I have high hopes that service will improve as time progresses, but I felt the need to say something now, anyway. Just keep in mind that great food and great presentation mean nothing to us if we are not able to obtain the food due to long lines.

I really do appreciate everything, though, and hope that my feedback doesn't seem too negative.

Here's hoping for a great year, 

Walter McCoy, Class of 2013"

I just sent this off, so hopefully we'll see some changes soon. In the meantime, if you feel as passionately as I do about not  dying of starvation, feel free to send the dining hall some feedback about their performance! CLICK HERE to do so.

Stay Strong, readers!
--Your Editor

UPDATE
So, recently my blog was linked to on a Fox News article titled "Worst colleges for foodies." I'm not terribly bothered by the fact that they linked to my material without considering asking me about the article or whatever, but I am a bit perturbed at the way they paint the picture. Fox News based their ratings on the Princeton Review (without actually linking a source, mind you), which was published in August. According to Fox News, the Princeton Review ranked Hampden-Sydney the #4 worst college for food in the country. What Fox News didn't mention or point out, though, is that the Princeton Review published in August was a review of last year's dining service. While their article does point out that we changed from Aramark to Thompson Hospitality, they never once make a point to acknowledge that the review does not speak for this year's food service quality.

That being said, the article drew a LOT of attention to my blog (over 500 hits in a single day!). Unfortunately, this commotion also started on the same day where I posted an article about the recent hate crime on campus, an article which, sadly, isn't being read nearly as much as this unimportant one about food. Additionally, the publicity reflected negatively on the dining hall itself, and to the people running it. I personally feel at fault, too, for having not updated this article at all.

Anyway, the day this all started, I got a text message from Darryl Rudge, the director of Thompson Hospitality. He asked if he could speak with me about my dining experience during the year. Of course, I immediately felt guilty--the only reason he would think to contact me is if he had read my article. Well I spoke with him, and we had a good conversation about the things that I thought were really done well. I also told him that I was planning to update this entry (which I am doing now).

The point of this update, then, is really to provide an update of how I have experienced the changes in the food service. Since I wrote the last article, my main complaint (the long lines) has essentially vanished. I hardly ever end up waiting in lines anymore. Additionally, they've managed to cut the time waiting in lines without sacrificing the presentability of the food. The food is well cooked, looks great, tastes fantastic, and is something that I would gladly wait for if I even still had to wait for it. The staff is great, and I actually enjoy eating in there now (something I couldn't really say about Aramark).

Mr. Rudge also seemed really interested about what I had to say about how the service compared to the service under what I referred to as the "Dark Reign of Aramark." I told him that Aramark had a very assembly-line approach to service: the food was in "buckets", (which was really the only word I could come up with), the staff was often disinterested and unfriendly (with some exceptions, of course), and food was rarely palatable. Since Thompson Hospitality took over, I can't even imagine referring to the dining hall as "The Moans" anymore.

To conclude, I just want to make it clear that the dining service this year is actually rather fantastic, and I think Fox News is less so. Thanks for reading!!

--Your Editor.

Orientation: Day 1

Welcome back to the start of a grand new school year. The rain came down in sheets, the dopey looks on the faces of the new flock brought something that resembled joy to my heart, and I even got a chance to speak/otherwise corrupt the masses. Today I spoke at the alcohol awareness/substance abuse presentation called "Molecules that Monkey with your Mind". As usual the presentation was fantastic. To no surprise, the most audience-receptive parts of the presentation were the parts involving sex or a monkey video--good to see HSC still thrives at what it's good at.

God I sound cynical.

Anyway, As I said, I got the chance to speak, and I promised some people that I would share my little speech on the site. Unfortunately I didn't print out what I read, so I just winged it. My delivery, according to my roommate's brother was "not perfect, but not terrible." I'm just going to copy what I wrote in this post: it has the same meaning and is just better worded. Besides, I can't even remember what I actually said. So here it is:

Ya know, they told us we should keep these stories concise and to the point, and that we should avoid rambling. Well I’m awful at both of those, so I just wrote down what I have to say. My name is Walter McCoy. Some know me as “Flash”. I’m a senior here, English Major, double minor in theatre and creative writing. When Shawn [White] suggested that I give my story, it was with the idea that I would represent the “Independent” type of student. I don’t really agree with that though, and here’s why: My freshman year was rough. I was shy. I wasn’t very good at making friends. I became very susceptible to bullying. By the end of my first semester I had dealt with the same types of immature bullying that you would expect from high schoolers. My second semester was much better, and by the end I had even had a paper vandalized with hateful messages. I almost didn’t come back, and I think that’s probably understandable. I did come back, though, and that’s because, despite the bullying I’d received, I still managed to make a few friends. My freshman year taught me that although I was a bit of a misfit nerd that didn’t drink, I could still find a niche. My sophomore year, I decided to do something to change my Hampden-Sydney experience. I talked to Shawn [White] and got started with The Student Network, which we just called “The Mentor Program” at the time. The idea was that I could prevent new students from having the same experience as me. The take-away message that I want to leave for you guys right now is this: look around you. Hampden-Sydney has this big stigma about how it is an all-male school with a whole bunch of people who are just like one another. The truth though is that, despite your similarities, each of you are individual, independent students. The best piece of advice that I can give is that you should always remember who you are. It sounds cheesy, I know, but seriously: don’t change who you are or act differently just because you want to fit a stigma. Just because HSC is known to be a drinking college, it doesn’t mean you have to drink all the time. Just because guys here will occasionally use certain substances, it doesn’t mean that you need to do so to fit in. I stand here now—a student here for four years, a nerd, perpetually broke, non-athletic, gay—and I think I manage to fit in here just as well as anyone else can. If you ever need someone to talk to you or help you, I will help you no matter who you are; even if we’re from completely different walks of life. That’s what the student network is about: We are all different, but we are all still a part of the same student body, the same network of students. Thank you.

Well that's the gist of my "Speech to the Freshmen". There were some receptive laughs when I mentioned the  fact that I wasn't straight, but whatever. I do what I want. Plus, I'm a senior now, so I really just ready to lay the beat down on anyone who tries to give me any shit this year...In a completely metaphorical sense, of course.

That's all I got for today. Will post more later!

--Your Editor

"The tayle of Oxford", or "Why I seem to be really lazy about posting stuff on this blog"

Dear Sweet Readers,

It's been quite a while since I've posted anything on this blog. There are multiple reasons for this:

• I'm lazy as hell.
• It's summer, and I'm not at HSC.
• It's summer, so I actually miss the school, rather than loathe it.
• I'm studying at Oxford because the school has allowed me to.

It's this last point that I want to talk about. Now if you've been reading my posts, it's fairly obvious that I hold a bit of a grudge against this hell hole. In all honest, though, my feelings for Hampden-Sydney College are kind of complex. While I do disagree with a lot of what goes on at the school, I can't help but be thankful that it has given me so much. Apart from all the money the foot for me to go there, they also basically paid for this whole trip that I am on. AND I'M AT FREAKIN' OXFORD UNIVERSITY! That's cool stuff. And all I paid for was the plane ticket. 

I guess what I'm trying to say is, the school isn't absolute shit. If you come, you'll either have a great time, or not, but it's really what you make out of it, yourself, that makes this place. 

On that note, I'm actually going out. I had this on my mind to write, and figured I would do so before I went to the pub, but hey! SO I'll just leave you all with this last parting gift:

This is a video of me doing admission propaganda. Even though it sounds pretty cheesy, I did mean all the things I said in it. (Of course, the cut out all the stuff about me hating people...but that's understandable).

I hope that you are all enjoying your summers, and I'll see you when next I see you!

--Your editor

10 Most Unique Men's Rooms at HSC

Dear Readers,

I've had a couple professors read my blog, then come up to me and ask if I'm really as depressed and upset about this place as I sound. Well yes, I do kinda hate this place. But at the same time, I've had a lot of great experiences here and I wouldn't trade that for the world. Since people have been worried, I decided I'd do a more light-hearted post. So here it is: The Ten Most Unique Men's Toilets at HSC!

In no particular order....

Winston, Second Floor
 The first of our special bathrooms is in a place that I can't imagine too many people have ever gone, unless you are a music student. If you have ever found your way to the rear of Winston Hall, ascended the stairs that seem like they are about to separate from the building, and needed to use a bathroom, here's the one for you!

You'll find yourself strolling along the hall upstairs, and find the bathroom marked "MEN". No women's room up here, of course. Not at Hampden-Sydney! Of course, let's see what's behind Door Number 1!

               
           

  BEHOLD! Behind the bathroom door are 2 more doors. I cannot tell you how many times I've tried to go straight to the next door, only to find it locked. I can only assume that it's a utility closet of some kind. Anyway, the bathroom, itself is through the left door.

Still, despite the confusing entrance, my favorite part of this bathroom has to be this rather threatening sign that has been hanging on the door for a while. It's an empty threat, of course, but who knows? Maybe one of these two doors will lock one day!

Winston, Main Floor (?)

As long as we're already in Winston Hall, we may as well talk about that frustrating bathroom that is hated, I'm sure, by anyone who has had to go down there. The door stands near the main entrance and....ya know what? Let me just take you through a tour:

               

Looking from top left to bottom right, we get the brave journey into the pits of HELL! That's right. In order to use the toilets down here in Tartarus you must open the door, descend a bunch of stairs, then proceed through two additional doors before you can even get in there. This bathroom terrifies me. It's like a nightmare down here. There's graffiti aplenty, and I know that it is occasionally used by naughty boys looking for hiding places (sorry to rat you out, guys, but walking-in on your antics twice is enough for me...).

John's Auditorium: Lobby

Ah, yes. Look at our beautiful Hampden-Sydney Theatre, home to uncomfortable and broken seats, a sad, sad, small stage, and the hardest working students you'll ever see on campus. Our odd bathroom here resides in the lobby. You may, in fact, be able to tell from the photo above that, there is a Ladies Room, but..huh...where's that men's room? Oh.

There it is. Oh wait....A cloak room? This is just a coat closet! maybe it's....

THERE IT IS! It was hiding in the closet the entire time! Huh...That's funny...A Men's Room, hiding in the closet....

John's Auditorium, Studio Theatre

Meanwhile, in another part of John's.... Welcome to the Studio Theatre Classroom. We have our own little stage set up in here with a curtain and everything. And what's behind the curtain?

Well I'll be! Behind the curtain, a chalkboard, and a couple couches, there's actually a bathroom back here. Now, this bathroom isn't notoriously different because of it's design. Sure, it's built under the stairs that lead to the upstairs classroom, and sure there are exposed water pipes in there, and of course every time you flush, you can hear it in the sink, but what's so wrong about this bathroom?

Oh yeah. That. That bucket of beer cans and wine bottles that has been slowly growing for a couple years now. Yes yes yes. We theatre folk are notorious for our love of wine. Dionysus was the God of Theatre and Wine, right? Anyway, there's always something interesting in this bathroom, be it manikins, wine bottles, coolers of unopened drinks, YOU NAME IT! Now ask yourself, does this happen in your bathroom?

Graham Hall

I love our post office. It has a very nice atmosphere. It's kept clean, and tidy, and there's even a coffee shop. The entrance to the bathrooms here is even well labeled: 

So what is so special about the bathroom here, you might ask? It's not messy, it's not in a poor location. It's not oddly designed. And there's even a women's room too! To be completely honest, this is my favorite bathroom on campus. It has everything you could ask for: A Sink, a mirror, paper towels, or an electric hand-drier if you would prefer, a toilet, AND there's even a nifty sitting chair in their, too, so that your friends can sit with you when you take the Browns to the Superbowl....

Gilmer Hall, Main Floor

Being an English Major, I'm not really in Gilmer too terribly often. I do remember having to come in there one day, though, to relieve myself. Everything was going well. I found the door labeled "MEN", opened it, but then found this: 

dafuq? Some clever troll decided it would be funny to build a stall partition at the door. Are you serious? I had to double-take, just to make sure I hadn't lost my mind.

Nope. Nope. There it is. One stall, built right there at the door. Marvelous. I will say, though, that this bathroom has some of the most interesting graffiti on campus:

 

It must've been some good business. I gotta say, though, kudos to whoever continues putting The Stall Street Journal in the slot with the graffiti there, still...

Bagby, Third Floor

Oh, Bagby. I rarely have classes here, but I do remember taking my RPE on the third floor. About halfway through the test, I had to relieve myself from some pent-up anxiety and too much water. So I made my way into the hall to find a Men's Room.

Ah! Here it is! It's right beside the Women's Room, so it must be the men's room....

WHAT!?! Yeah. I remember being damn surprised to open the door and find a janitor's closet.

Well, As it should happen, there's no Men's bathroom on the third floor. Now I'm glad that there's a women's room here. There are female teachers and such, of course, and they need relief, too. I just find it odd that there's actually a place at Hampden-Sydney where women have the advantage over men. So here's a WIN for the ladies. Then again, I hate the clip-art that was used for this sign, so the victory may be slightly tainted....

Blake A, Student Government Floor

The only time I ever have to come here is when it is time for club audits. I must say though, that if you ever find yourself climbing the side-staircase of Blake A, past the photographs of smiling HSC students and as you try not to breathe because of that sour stank in the air, you'll be treated to the epilepsy-inducing light that greets you to the offices of our Student Government blokes. Their bathroom intrigues me because it's camouflaged. 

There is no sign on the door labeling it as a Bathroom. Indeed, when you open the door, you'll notice that it is carpeted in the same way as the rest of the floor.

But if you look past the posh carpeting and cheesy motivational posters (which are behind glass, as per the orders of the Fire Marshall), then you'll find that this is, indeed, a bathroom:

The Tree at the Intersection of Atkinson Ave. and College Rd.

On many, many nights of hard partying and debauchery, when students leave the frats, they often feel the need to empty their bladders before they can find a toilet. In an inebriated state, anything can be a toilet. For example, i've seen this particular tree used at least twice: 

The above picture is merely an example of what it would look like. This was not an image of me being caught-in-the-act. 

Maples, Main Floor

Finally, I bring you the last of our bathroom tour. This particular bathroom is, in my opinion, one of the most bizarre things on campus. It's the bathroom that actually inspired this post. It's something that I noticed my freshman year, and haven't been able to ignore since. Behold, THE TWO TOILET LAVATORY! 

No, your eyes do not deceive you. You are, in fact, looking at a bathroom that has two sit-and-shits sitting right beside one another with no stalls, no divider, no privacy. Whoever came up with this idea must've either been drunk (likely at HSC), High (again, likely), or just very very comfortable with his sexuality (Terribly unlikely at HSC).

On top of this interesting toilet dichotomy, though, we also get a message instructing us on how to be immodest to toilets!

Now I don't know about anyone else, but, when "flashing commodes", the best I typically do is when I'm actually urinating...not after. But if that's what you want, Maples.....

Well I hope that you enjoyed this more amusing post. It was fun to work on, and I can only hope it was fun to read as well. Until next time, stay hardy, readers!

--Your Editor.

Hampden-Sydney "Honor"

This is a story that I've been meaning to write for a long time, and one that I don't think I can finish today. It's about Hampden-Sydney and our Honor system. There is no question that Honor is one of the biggest things about HSC. Unfortunately, I don't think people truly understand what it means. I'm not even sure that I have a clear impression of what "honor" is. I have opinions on what makes a man honorable, but I don't think that there is a cohesive opinion here on campus. This post is going to deal with one tenant of honor that I think is important, and one that I think has been almost completely forgotten: Respect.

The screenshot above is taken from hsc.edu, our school's website. As is true with the "Hampden-Sydney way" (As I have personally come to see it), only the end is important: "The Hampden-Sydney student will not lie, cheat, or steal, nor tolerate those who do." That is the part of the honor system that I know people remember. And how couldn't we? As a reminder, we are made to write it on every single paper and exam that we turn in! 

But what about the Code of Conduct? "The Hampden-Sydney Student will behave as a gentleman at all times and in all places." This part of our honor system seems to be most often forgotten or ignored. For example, here's an email that I got this morning:

Now, I don't know what this "message of intolerance" was, but welcome to Hampden-Sydney! You mean to tell me that someone within the Hampden-Sydney community conveyed "a message of intolerance"? I am appalled and completely shocked! (only not really...)

One of the problems, as I see it, is that not enough is being done here. Look at this email, for example. Sure, it was sent out to the whole campus, and it identifies that something was "conveyed", but what was it? Was it a racial slur? Was it an anti-gay message? Was it another penis drawn on a chalkboard?

I don't know!

So what do we do with this? "The hurtful words are not representative of our Hampden-Sydney community," but what does that even mean? I don't think the majority of student here even recognize what is appropriate. On a typical day at Hampden-Sydney I hear approximately 6-10 racially themed jokes made outside the presence of racial minorities. Of course they aren't going to be made around students that might be more offended by these jokes, but think: "The Hampden-Sydney Student will behave as a gentleman at all times and in all places." 

To date, I've heard more gay jokes and slurs at Hampden-Sydney than I ever heard in the four years of High School and three years of Middle School that I attended. Middle/High school students are recognizably immature. When we move to college we are supposed to grow up, right? Well that doesn't happen. And the worst part about people making these sorts of jokes, or saying these offensive things is that, more often than not, they do not know that they are offending anyone. 

Students here are not taught to recognize when something is offensive. It is left up to our best judgment. The judgment of a typical Hampden-Sydney student isn't that great--if all the alcohol and substance abuse related cases haven't already taught us that, then we are doomed. So when things like this are left up to the student, of course it's not going to work. Sure, students will know to avoid doing something, but what is that something that they must avoid?

Now for an anecdote: I'll take you back to my freshman year at Hampden-Sydney. This was a rough year for me. I came into school as an openly gay student. I didn't parade it around or anything, but I didn't hide it either--I was determined that I wouldn't hide that part of myself, and I wouldn't allow it to control me, either. As it should turn out, I was too optimistic. Throughout the year I was assaulted a couple times (ranging from "a shove to the ground" to "we're drunk and we're gonna give you some bruises"). I was victim to social torment practically every day from my classmates who were overjoyed to have a "faggot" to make fun of. I didn't have many friends, and still have few friends within my graduating class. Most of the friends that I have now are, likewise social rejects in one way or another (no offense to you guys, if you're reading this). By the end of the first semester, I was ready to leave, but stayed--"It'll get better", I thought. Second semester, I was met with the same issues, but I grew to get past it and avoid the trouble. By the end of the semester, I had less trouble: just a vandalized paper ("FAG" written across the front) and a few stolen/destroyed possessions. 

Is this the type of freshman year that students can be expected to have? I don't think most students have these issues, but I have heard stories of other harassment on campus. These things happen, and it's a real problem on campus. Things have gotten better for me, specifically, since freshman year just because I've learned to deal with them better. But I'm terrified that another freshman will come in next year, or may even be here now, and he will have the same sort of problems that I've had.

So what can we do about this problem?

To be honest, I haven't got a clue. I've mostly lost hope for this place. I've considered leaving every day since I got here, but my financial aid keeps me here. I do have on idea as to what might help us, though.

I believe that people need to be more informed. Things happen here that no one ever hears about. Like in that email, we don't even know what happened. I seriously doubt people have heard about my vandalism incident (even though it was reported), and even fewer still will know about the assault that I endured. Most of the people here probably think things are just super. Guys come in here, they drink and sleep their way through classes, they cuss and insult each other, they frat and haze, they break laws and have a good time, and then they leave. Like nothing ever happened. Nothing gained but a diploma, nothing lost but some brain cells. 

 But if Hampden-Sydney still claims that they've been

Then we need to start doing something about actually teaching the students about what is okay and what is not okay. 

This finally brings me back to my original point: Respect. Hampden-Sydney students need to be taught about how to respect one-another. We need to respect that there are things we should and should not do. We need to respect those tenants of the Honor System that we all agreed on, rather than just the second part. 

The honor code (no lying, cheating, stealing) is pretty much the only things students consider. Even then, they lie, cheat, and steal all the time. only time, perhaps, that the code is considered is when we're working on papers. In addition to this, since the Honor Code doesn't say anything specifically about vandalism and assault, does that mean it's okay to do them? 

Meanwhile, the code of conduct sits in a corner hiding away, forgotten. People do not act like "gentlemen" at all times and in all places. Obviously not. But it's like they often don't even try to do so.

I've probably rambled enough so here's my points:

1. The school and everyone in it needs to be more responsible for informing one another when there is a problem.
2. Students need to be reminded that "Honor" does not simply mean "No lying, cheating, or stealing (on homework assignments)." 
3. Students should be reminded that the Code of Conduct does exist, and that it should be followed as closely, if not closer, than the Honor Code.

Respect and Honor walk hand-in-hand, Hampden-Sydney. Take a look at yourself and ask yourself if you're really being honorable.

-Sincerely and Passionately, 

Your Editor.