To the new Dining Hall

Hello readers.

Many of you, I'm sure, have had a chance to eat at the dining hall at least once this year.
--and by eat in the dining hall, I really mean stand in line.

Today, unfortunately, was a bit of a --pardon the phrase--clusterfuck of ill planning. Particularly during the 12:30pm  lunch period. I will optimistically assume that it was just because they were unaware of what a crowd it would be, but let's get serious: MWF lunches at that time have been overcrowded for years.

Well, anyway, rather than waiting for changes to be made without any of my input, I decided to give some feedback to the dining hall. I really hope they don't hate me for it, but if they do, then hey: that's my life.

Here's the letter I wrote. I figured some of my readers might enjoy it.

"This is my fourth year at HSC, so I've had plenty experience with the dining hall under the dark reign of Aramark. I was pleased to learn that my senior year would be ruled over by a new service, and looked forward to this prospect. My first few days back, too, before classes started, I was pleased with what I saw: Fresh, tasty food (food which actually looked like food), a clean tasteful atmosphere, and attractive presentation. 

I was a bit skeptical, though. Despite how much I enjoyed those first couple of days, I had a horrible suspicion dwelling in the pit of my stomach--I quickly realized that all of these attractive features of a dining hall came at a price: speed. In olden days, all that was required was a quick plate-bun-patty-bun-fries maneuver to get food out to the waiting students. Now, however, it seems like the food has yet to be cooked, and THEN must be plated neatly and fashionably in a paper-lined basket before it can be placed under the heat lamps for the students to grab.

Now, I appreciate that you at least appear to care about what food is being served to us students, but I find myself in a bind. I am a very busy student (it IS my senior year, after all), and I am on a tight schedule. While I was in the dining hall today, I waited ten minutes before any food even appeared at the grill station (only one of the stations plagued by this catastrophe), and when this basket of food was taken, it was a good five minutes more before another basket showed up. Since I was in a rush, I just grabbed some pizza, ate it, and left. This tiny meal is not really enough to feed me on a good day, and it has not been a good day. 

My feedback, then, is this: please do not sacrifice speed for presentation. Our HSC dining hall isn't really a restaurant and has never been the greatest food on the planet, but at least it has fed us with time to spare so that we may continue on our way. I have high hopes that service will improve as time progresses, but I felt the need to say something now, anyway. Just keep in mind that great food and great presentation mean nothing to us if we are not able to obtain the food due to long lines.

I really do appreciate everything, though, and hope that my feedback doesn't seem too negative.

Here's hoping for a great year, 

Walter McCoy, Class of 2013"

I just sent this off, so hopefully we'll see some changes soon. In the meantime, if you feel as passionately as I do about not  dying of starvation, feel free to send the dining hall some feedback about their performance! CLICK HERE to do so.

Stay Strong, readers!
--Your Editor

UPDATE
So, recently my blog was linked to on a Fox News article titled "Worst colleges for foodies." I'm not terribly bothered by the fact that they linked to my material without considering asking me about the article or whatever, but I am a bit perturbed at the way they paint the picture. Fox News based their ratings on the Princeton Review (without actually linking a source, mind you), which was published in August. According to Fox News, the Princeton Review ranked Hampden-Sydney the #4 worst college for food in the country. What Fox News didn't mention or point out, though, is that the Princeton Review published in August was a review of last year's dining service. While their article does point out that we changed from Aramark to Thompson Hospitality, they never once make a point to acknowledge that the review does not speak for this year's food service quality.

That being said, the article drew a LOT of attention to my blog (over 500 hits in a single day!). Unfortunately, this commotion also started on the same day where I posted an article about the recent hate crime on campus, an article which, sadly, isn't being read nearly as much as this unimportant one about food. Additionally, the publicity reflected negatively on the dining hall itself, and to the people running it. I personally feel at fault, too, for having not updated this article at all.

Anyway, the day this all started, I got a text message from Darryl Rudge, the director of Thompson Hospitality. He asked if he could speak with me about my dining experience during the year. Of course, I immediately felt guilty--the only reason he would think to contact me is if he had read my article. Well I spoke with him, and we had a good conversation about the things that I thought were really done well. I also told him that I was planning to update this entry (which I am doing now).

The point of this update, then, is really to provide an update of how I have experienced the changes in the food service. Since I wrote the last article, my main complaint (the long lines) has essentially vanished. I hardly ever end up waiting in lines anymore. Additionally, they've managed to cut the time waiting in lines without sacrificing the presentability of the food. The food is well cooked, looks great, tastes fantastic, and is something that I would gladly wait for if I even still had to wait for it. The staff is great, and I actually enjoy eating in there now (something I couldn't really say about Aramark).

Mr. Rudge also seemed really interested about what I had to say about how the service compared to the service under what I referred to as the "Dark Reign of Aramark." I told him that Aramark had a very assembly-line approach to service: the food was in "buckets", (which was really the only word I could come up with), the staff was often disinterested and unfriendly (with some exceptions, of course), and food was rarely palatable. Since Thompson Hospitality took over, I can't even imagine referring to the dining hall as "The Moans" anymore.

To conclude, I just want to make it clear that the dining service this year is actually rather fantastic, and I think Fox News is less so. Thanks for reading!!

--Your Editor.

10 Most Unique Men's Rooms at HSC

Dear Readers,

I've had a couple professors read my blog, then come up to me and ask if I'm really as depressed and upset about this place as I sound. Well yes, I do kinda hate this place. But at the same time, I've had a lot of great experiences here and I wouldn't trade that for the world. Since people have been worried, I decided I'd do a more light-hearted post. So here it is: The Ten Most Unique Men's Toilets at HSC!

In no particular order....

Winston, Second Floor
 The first of our special bathrooms is in a place that I can't imagine too many people have ever gone, unless you are a music student. If you have ever found your way to the rear of Winston Hall, ascended the stairs that seem like they are about to separate from the building, and needed to use a bathroom, here's the one for you!

You'll find yourself strolling along the hall upstairs, and find the bathroom marked "MEN". No women's room up here, of course. Not at Hampden-Sydney! Of course, let's see what's behind Door Number 1!

               
           

  BEHOLD! Behind the bathroom door are 2 more doors. I cannot tell you how many times I've tried to go straight to the next door, only to find it locked. I can only assume that it's a utility closet of some kind. Anyway, the bathroom, itself is through the left door.

Still, despite the confusing entrance, my favorite part of this bathroom has to be this rather threatening sign that has been hanging on the door for a while. It's an empty threat, of course, but who knows? Maybe one of these two doors will lock one day!

Winston, Main Floor (?)

As long as we're already in Winston Hall, we may as well talk about that frustrating bathroom that is hated, I'm sure, by anyone who has had to go down there. The door stands near the main entrance and....ya know what? Let me just take you through a tour:

               

Looking from top left to bottom right, we get the brave journey into the pits of HELL! That's right. In order to use the toilets down here in Tartarus you must open the door, descend a bunch of stairs, then proceed through two additional doors before you can even get in there. This bathroom terrifies me. It's like a nightmare down here. There's graffiti aplenty, and I know that it is occasionally used by naughty boys looking for hiding places (sorry to rat you out, guys, but walking-in on your antics twice is enough for me...).

John's Auditorium: Lobby

Ah, yes. Look at our beautiful Hampden-Sydney Theatre, home to uncomfortable and broken seats, a sad, sad, small stage, and the hardest working students you'll ever see on campus. Our odd bathroom here resides in the lobby. You may, in fact, be able to tell from the photo above that, there is a Ladies Room, but..huh...where's that men's room? Oh.

There it is. Oh wait....A cloak room? This is just a coat closet! maybe it's....

THERE IT IS! It was hiding in the closet the entire time! Huh...That's funny...A Men's Room, hiding in the closet....

John's Auditorium, Studio Theatre

Meanwhile, in another part of John's.... Welcome to the Studio Theatre Classroom. We have our own little stage set up in here with a curtain and everything. And what's behind the curtain?

Well I'll be! Behind the curtain, a chalkboard, and a couple couches, there's actually a bathroom back here. Now, this bathroom isn't notoriously different because of it's design. Sure, it's built under the stairs that lead to the upstairs classroom, and sure there are exposed water pipes in there, and of course every time you flush, you can hear it in the sink, but what's so wrong about this bathroom?

Oh yeah. That. That bucket of beer cans and wine bottles that has been slowly growing for a couple years now. Yes yes yes. We theatre folk are notorious for our love of wine. Dionysus was the God of Theatre and Wine, right? Anyway, there's always something interesting in this bathroom, be it manikins, wine bottles, coolers of unopened drinks, YOU NAME IT! Now ask yourself, does this happen in your bathroom?

Graham Hall

I love our post office. It has a very nice atmosphere. It's kept clean, and tidy, and there's even a coffee shop. The entrance to the bathrooms here is even well labeled: 

So what is so special about the bathroom here, you might ask? It's not messy, it's not in a poor location. It's not oddly designed. And there's even a women's room too! To be completely honest, this is my favorite bathroom on campus. It has everything you could ask for: A Sink, a mirror, paper towels, or an electric hand-drier if you would prefer, a toilet, AND there's even a nifty sitting chair in their, too, so that your friends can sit with you when you take the Browns to the Superbowl....

Gilmer Hall, Main Floor

Being an English Major, I'm not really in Gilmer too terribly often. I do remember having to come in there one day, though, to relieve myself. Everything was going well. I found the door labeled "MEN", opened it, but then found this: 

dafuq? Some clever troll decided it would be funny to build a stall partition at the door. Are you serious? I had to double-take, just to make sure I hadn't lost my mind.

Nope. Nope. There it is. One stall, built right there at the door. Marvelous. I will say, though, that this bathroom has some of the most interesting graffiti on campus:

 

It must've been some good business. I gotta say, though, kudos to whoever continues putting The Stall Street Journal in the slot with the graffiti there, still...

Bagby, Third Floor

Oh, Bagby. I rarely have classes here, but I do remember taking my RPE on the third floor. About halfway through the test, I had to relieve myself from some pent-up anxiety and too much water. So I made my way into the hall to find a Men's Room.

Ah! Here it is! It's right beside the Women's Room, so it must be the men's room....

WHAT!?! Yeah. I remember being damn surprised to open the door and find a janitor's closet.

Well, As it should happen, there's no Men's bathroom on the third floor. Now I'm glad that there's a women's room here. There are female teachers and such, of course, and they need relief, too. I just find it odd that there's actually a place at Hampden-Sydney where women have the advantage over men. So here's a WIN for the ladies. Then again, I hate the clip-art that was used for this sign, so the victory may be slightly tainted....

Blake A, Student Government Floor

The only time I ever have to come here is when it is time for club audits. I must say though, that if you ever find yourself climbing the side-staircase of Blake A, past the photographs of smiling HSC students and as you try not to breathe because of that sour stank in the air, you'll be treated to the epilepsy-inducing light that greets you to the offices of our Student Government blokes. Their bathroom intrigues me because it's camouflaged. 

There is no sign on the door labeling it as a Bathroom. Indeed, when you open the door, you'll notice that it is carpeted in the same way as the rest of the floor.

But if you look past the posh carpeting and cheesy motivational posters (which are behind glass, as per the orders of the Fire Marshall), then you'll find that this is, indeed, a bathroom:

The Tree at the Intersection of Atkinson Ave. and College Rd.

On many, many nights of hard partying and debauchery, when students leave the frats, they often feel the need to empty their bladders before they can find a toilet. In an inebriated state, anything can be a toilet. For example, i've seen this particular tree used at least twice: 

The above picture is merely an example of what it would look like. This was not an image of me being caught-in-the-act. 

Maples, Main Floor

Finally, I bring you the last of our bathroom tour. This particular bathroom is, in my opinion, one of the most bizarre things on campus. It's the bathroom that actually inspired this post. It's something that I noticed my freshman year, and haven't been able to ignore since. Behold, THE TWO TOILET LAVATORY! 

No, your eyes do not deceive you. You are, in fact, looking at a bathroom that has two sit-and-shits sitting right beside one another with no stalls, no divider, no privacy. Whoever came up with this idea must've either been drunk (likely at HSC), High (again, likely), or just very very comfortable with his sexuality (Terribly unlikely at HSC).

On top of this interesting toilet dichotomy, though, we also get a message instructing us on how to be immodest to toilets!

Now I don't know about anyone else, but, when "flashing commodes", the best I typically do is when I'm actually urinating...not after. But if that's what you want, Maples.....

Well I hope that you enjoyed this more amusing post. It was fun to work on, and I can only hope it was fun to read as well. Until next time, stay hardy, readers!

--Your Editor.