Orientation: Day 1

Welcome back to the start of a grand new school year. The rain came down in sheets, the dopey looks on the faces of the new flock brought something that resembled joy to my heart, and I even got a chance to speak/otherwise corrupt the masses. Today I spoke at the alcohol awareness/substance abuse presentation called "Molecules that Monkey with your Mind". As usual the presentation was fantastic. To no surprise, the most audience-receptive parts of the presentation were the parts involving sex or a monkey video--good to see HSC still thrives at what it's good at.

God I sound cynical.

Anyway, As I said, I got the chance to speak, and I promised some people that I would share my little speech on the site. Unfortunately I didn't print out what I read, so I just winged it. My delivery, according to my roommate's brother was "not perfect, but not terrible." I'm just going to copy what I wrote in this post: it has the same meaning and is just better worded. Besides, I can't even remember what I actually said. So here it is:

Ya know, they told us we should keep these stories concise and to the point, and that we should avoid rambling. Well I’m awful at both of those, so I just wrote down what I have to say. My name is Walter McCoy. Some know me as “Flash”. I’m a senior here, English Major, double minor in theatre and creative writing. When Shawn [White] suggested that I give my story, it was with the idea that I would represent the “Independent” type of student. I don’t really agree with that though, and here’s why: My freshman year was rough. I was shy. I wasn’t very good at making friends. I became very susceptible to bullying. By the end of my first semester I had dealt with the same types of immature bullying that you would expect from high schoolers. My second semester was much better, and by the end I had even had a paper vandalized with hateful messages. I almost didn’t come back, and I think that’s probably understandable. I did come back, though, and that’s because, despite the bullying I’d received, I still managed to make a few friends. My freshman year taught me that although I was a bit of a misfit nerd that didn’t drink, I could still find a niche. My sophomore year, I decided to do something to change my Hampden-Sydney experience. I talked to Shawn [White] and got started with The Student Network, which we just called “The Mentor Program” at the time. The idea was that I could prevent new students from having the same experience as me. The take-away message that I want to leave for you guys right now is this: look around you. Hampden-Sydney has this big stigma about how it is an all-male school with a whole bunch of people who are just like one another. The truth though is that, despite your similarities, each of you are individual, independent students. The best piece of advice that I can give is that you should always remember who you are. It sounds cheesy, I know, but seriously: don’t change who you are or act differently just because you want to fit a stigma. Just because HSC is known to be a drinking college, it doesn’t mean you have to drink all the time. Just because guys here will occasionally use certain substances, it doesn’t mean that you need to do so to fit in. I stand here now—a student here for four years, a nerd, perpetually broke, non-athletic, gay—and I think I manage to fit in here just as well as anyone else can. If you ever need someone to talk to you or help you, I will help you no matter who you are; even if we’re from completely different walks of life. That’s what the student network is about: We are all different, but we are all still a part of the same student body, the same network of students. Thank you.

Well that's the gist of my "Speech to the Freshmen". There were some receptive laughs when I mentioned the  fact that I wasn't straight, but whatever. I do what I want. Plus, I'm a senior now, so I really just ready to lay the beat down on anyone who tries to give me any shit this year...In a completely metaphorical sense, of course.

That's all I got for today. Will post more later!

--Your Editor

"The tayle of Oxford", or "Why I seem to be really lazy about posting stuff on this blog"

Dear Sweet Readers,

It's been quite a while since I've posted anything on this blog. There are multiple reasons for this:

• I'm lazy as hell.
• It's summer, and I'm not at HSC.
• It's summer, so I actually miss the school, rather than loathe it.
• I'm studying at Oxford because the school has allowed me to.

It's this last point that I want to talk about. Now if you've been reading my posts, it's fairly obvious that I hold a bit of a grudge against this hell hole. In all honest, though, my feelings for Hampden-Sydney College are kind of complex. While I do disagree with a lot of what goes on at the school, I can't help but be thankful that it has given me so much. Apart from all the money the foot for me to go there, they also basically paid for this whole trip that I am on. AND I'M AT FREAKIN' OXFORD UNIVERSITY! That's cool stuff. And all I paid for was the plane ticket. 

I guess what I'm trying to say is, the school isn't absolute shit. If you come, you'll either have a great time, or not, but it's really what you make out of it, yourself, that makes this place. 

On that note, I'm actually going out. I had this on my mind to write, and figured I would do so before I went to the pub, but hey! SO I'll just leave you all with this last parting gift:

This is a video of me doing admission propaganda. Even though it sounds pretty cheesy, I did mean all the things I said in it. (Of course, the cut out all the stuff about me hating people...but that's understandable).

I hope that you are all enjoying your summers, and I'll see you when next I see you!

--Your editor

10 Most Unique Men's Rooms at HSC

Dear Readers,

I've had a couple professors read my blog, then come up to me and ask if I'm really as depressed and upset about this place as I sound. Well yes, I do kinda hate this place. But at the same time, I've had a lot of great experiences here and I wouldn't trade that for the world. Since people have been worried, I decided I'd do a more light-hearted post. So here it is: The Ten Most Unique Men's Toilets at HSC!

In no particular order....

Winston, Second Floor
 The first of our special bathrooms is in a place that I can't imagine too many people have ever gone, unless you are a music student. If you have ever found your way to the rear of Winston Hall, ascended the stairs that seem like they are about to separate from the building, and needed to use a bathroom, here's the one for you!

You'll find yourself strolling along the hall upstairs, and find the bathroom marked "MEN". No women's room up here, of course. Not at Hampden-Sydney! Of course, let's see what's behind Door Number 1!

               
           

  BEHOLD! Behind the bathroom door are 2 more doors. I cannot tell you how many times I've tried to go straight to the next door, only to find it locked. I can only assume that it's a utility closet of some kind. Anyway, the bathroom, itself is through the left door.

Still, despite the confusing entrance, my favorite part of this bathroom has to be this rather threatening sign that has been hanging on the door for a while. It's an empty threat, of course, but who knows? Maybe one of these two doors will lock one day!

Winston, Main Floor (?)

As long as we're already in Winston Hall, we may as well talk about that frustrating bathroom that is hated, I'm sure, by anyone who has had to go down there. The door stands near the main entrance and....ya know what? Let me just take you through a tour:

               

Looking from top left to bottom right, we get the brave journey into the pits of HELL! That's right. In order to use the toilets down here in Tartarus you must open the door, descend a bunch of stairs, then proceed through two additional doors before you can even get in there. This bathroom terrifies me. It's like a nightmare down here. There's graffiti aplenty, and I know that it is occasionally used by naughty boys looking for hiding places (sorry to rat you out, guys, but walking-in on your antics twice is enough for me...).

John's Auditorium: Lobby

Ah, yes. Look at our beautiful Hampden-Sydney Theatre, home to uncomfortable and broken seats, a sad, sad, small stage, and the hardest working students you'll ever see on campus. Our odd bathroom here resides in the lobby. You may, in fact, be able to tell from the photo above that, there is a Ladies Room, but..huh...where's that men's room? Oh.

There it is. Oh wait....A cloak room? This is just a coat closet! maybe it's....

THERE IT IS! It was hiding in the closet the entire time! Huh...That's funny...A Men's Room, hiding in the closet....

John's Auditorium, Studio Theatre

Meanwhile, in another part of John's.... Welcome to the Studio Theatre Classroom. We have our own little stage set up in here with a curtain and everything. And what's behind the curtain?

Well I'll be! Behind the curtain, a chalkboard, and a couple couches, there's actually a bathroom back here. Now, this bathroom isn't notoriously different because of it's design. Sure, it's built under the stairs that lead to the upstairs classroom, and sure there are exposed water pipes in there, and of course every time you flush, you can hear it in the sink, but what's so wrong about this bathroom?

Oh yeah. That. That bucket of beer cans and wine bottles that has been slowly growing for a couple years now. Yes yes yes. We theatre folk are notorious for our love of wine. Dionysus was the God of Theatre and Wine, right? Anyway, there's always something interesting in this bathroom, be it manikins, wine bottles, coolers of unopened drinks, YOU NAME IT! Now ask yourself, does this happen in your bathroom?

Graham Hall

I love our post office. It has a very nice atmosphere. It's kept clean, and tidy, and there's even a coffee shop. The entrance to the bathrooms here is even well labeled: 

So what is so special about the bathroom here, you might ask? It's not messy, it's not in a poor location. It's not oddly designed. And there's even a women's room too! To be completely honest, this is my favorite bathroom on campus. It has everything you could ask for: A Sink, a mirror, paper towels, or an electric hand-drier if you would prefer, a toilet, AND there's even a nifty sitting chair in their, too, so that your friends can sit with you when you take the Browns to the Superbowl....

Gilmer Hall, Main Floor

Being an English Major, I'm not really in Gilmer too terribly often. I do remember having to come in there one day, though, to relieve myself. Everything was going well. I found the door labeled "MEN", opened it, but then found this: 

dafuq? Some clever troll decided it would be funny to build a stall partition at the door. Are you serious? I had to double-take, just to make sure I hadn't lost my mind.

Nope. Nope. There it is. One stall, built right there at the door. Marvelous. I will say, though, that this bathroom has some of the most interesting graffiti on campus:

 

It must've been some good business. I gotta say, though, kudos to whoever continues putting The Stall Street Journal in the slot with the graffiti there, still...

Bagby, Third Floor

Oh, Bagby. I rarely have classes here, but I do remember taking my RPE on the third floor. About halfway through the test, I had to relieve myself from some pent-up anxiety and too much water. So I made my way into the hall to find a Men's Room.

Ah! Here it is! It's right beside the Women's Room, so it must be the men's room....

WHAT!?! Yeah. I remember being damn surprised to open the door and find a janitor's closet.

Well, As it should happen, there's no Men's bathroom on the third floor. Now I'm glad that there's a women's room here. There are female teachers and such, of course, and they need relief, too. I just find it odd that there's actually a place at Hampden-Sydney where women have the advantage over men. So here's a WIN for the ladies. Then again, I hate the clip-art that was used for this sign, so the victory may be slightly tainted....

Blake A, Student Government Floor

The only time I ever have to come here is when it is time for club audits. I must say though, that if you ever find yourself climbing the side-staircase of Blake A, past the photographs of smiling HSC students and as you try not to breathe because of that sour stank in the air, you'll be treated to the epilepsy-inducing light that greets you to the offices of our Student Government blokes. Their bathroom intrigues me because it's camouflaged. 

There is no sign on the door labeling it as a Bathroom. Indeed, when you open the door, you'll notice that it is carpeted in the same way as the rest of the floor.

But if you look past the posh carpeting and cheesy motivational posters (which are behind glass, as per the orders of the Fire Marshall), then you'll find that this is, indeed, a bathroom:

The Tree at the Intersection of Atkinson Ave. and College Rd.

On many, many nights of hard partying and debauchery, when students leave the frats, they often feel the need to empty their bladders before they can find a toilet. In an inebriated state, anything can be a toilet. For example, i've seen this particular tree used at least twice: 

The above picture is merely an example of what it would look like. This was not an image of me being caught-in-the-act. 

Maples, Main Floor

Finally, I bring you the last of our bathroom tour. This particular bathroom is, in my opinion, one of the most bizarre things on campus. It's the bathroom that actually inspired this post. It's something that I noticed my freshman year, and haven't been able to ignore since. Behold, THE TWO TOILET LAVATORY! 

No, your eyes do not deceive you. You are, in fact, looking at a bathroom that has two sit-and-shits sitting right beside one another with no stalls, no divider, no privacy. Whoever came up with this idea must've either been drunk (likely at HSC), High (again, likely), or just very very comfortable with his sexuality (Terribly unlikely at HSC).

On top of this interesting toilet dichotomy, though, we also get a message instructing us on how to be immodest to toilets!

Now I don't know about anyone else, but, when "flashing commodes", the best I typically do is when I'm actually urinating...not after. But if that's what you want, Maples.....

Well I hope that you enjoyed this more amusing post. It was fun to work on, and I can only hope it was fun to read as well. Until next time, stay hardy, readers!

--Your Editor.

Hampden-Sydney "Honor"

This is a story that I've been meaning to write for a long time, and one that I don't think I can finish today. It's about Hampden-Sydney and our Honor system. There is no question that Honor is one of the biggest things about HSC. Unfortunately, I don't think people truly understand what it means. I'm not even sure that I have a clear impression of what "honor" is. I have opinions on what makes a man honorable, but I don't think that there is a cohesive opinion here on campus. This post is going to deal with one tenant of honor that I think is important, and one that I think has been almost completely forgotten: Respect.

The screenshot above is taken from hsc.edu, our school's website. As is true with the "Hampden-Sydney way" (As I have personally come to see it), only the end is important: "The Hampden-Sydney student will not lie, cheat, or steal, nor tolerate those who do." That is the part of the honor system that I know people remember. And how couldn't we? As a reminder, we are made to write it on every single paper and exam that we turn in! 

But what about the Code of Conduct? "The Hampden-Sydney Student will behave as a gentleman at all times and in all places." This part of our honor system seems to be most often forgotten or ignored. For example, here's an email that I got this morning:

Now, I don't know what this "message of intolerance" was, but welcome to Hampden-Sydney! You mean to tell me that someone within the Hampden-Sydney community conveyed "a message of intolerance"? I am appalled and completely shocked! (only not really...)

One of the problems, as I see it, is that not enough is being done here. Look at this email, for example. Sure, it was sent out to the whole campus, and it identifies that something was "conveyed", but what was it? Was it a racial slur? Was it an anti-gay message? Was it another penis drawn on a chalkboard?

I don't know!

So what do we do with this? "The hurtful words are not representative of our Hampden-Sydney community," but what does that even mean? I don't think the majority of student here even recognize what is appropriate. On a typical day at Hampden-Sydney I hear approximately 6-10 racially themed jokes made outside the presence of racial minorities. Of course they aren't going to be made around students that might be more offended by these jokes, but think: "The Hampden-Sydney Student will behave as a gentleman at all times and in all places." 

To date, I've heard more gay jokes and slurs at Hampden-Sydney than I ever heard in the four years of High School and three years of Middle School that I attended. Middle/High school students are recognizably immature. When we move to college we are supposed to grow up, right? Well that doesn't happen. And the worst part about people making these sorts of jokes, or saying these offensive things is that, more often than not, they do not know that they are offending anyone. 

Students here are not taught to recognize when something is offensive. It is left up to our best judgment. The judgment of a typical Hampden-Sydney student isn't that great--if all the alcohol and substance abuse related cases haven't already taught us that, then we are doomed. So when things like this are left up to the student, of course it's not going to work. Sure, students will know to avoid doing something, but what is that something that they must avoid?

Now for an anecdote: I'll take you back to my freshman year at Hampden-Sydney. This was a rough year for me. I came into school as an openly gay student. I didn't parade it around or anything, but I didn't hide it either--I was determined that I wouldn't hide that part of myself, and I wouldn't allow it to control me, either. As it should turn out, I was too optimistic. Throughout the year I was assaulted a couple times (ranging from "a shove to the ground" to "we're drunk and we're gonna give you some bruises"). I was victim to social torment practically every day from my classmates who were overjoyed to have a "faggot" to make fun of. I didn't have many friends, and still have few friends within my graduating class. Most of the friends that I have now are, likewise social rejects in one way or another (no offense to you guys, if you're reading this). By the end of the first semester, I was ready to leave, but stayed--"It'll get better", I thought. Second semester, I was met with the same issues, but I grew to get past it and avoid the trouble. By the end of the semester, I had less trouble: just a vandalized paper ("FAG" written across the front) and a few stolen/destroyed possessions. 

Is this the type of freshman year that students can be expected to have? I don't think most students have these issues, but I have heard stories of other harassment on campus. These things happen, and it's a real problem on campus. Things have gotten better for me, specifically, since freshman year just because I've learned to deal with them better. But I'm terrified that another freshman will come in next year, or may even be here now, and he will have the same sort of problems that I've had.

So what can we do about this problem?

To be honest, I haven't got a clue. I've mostly lost hope for this place. I've considered leaving every day since I got here, but my financial aid keeps me here. I do have on idea as to what might help us, though.

I believe that people need to be more informed. Things happen here that no one ever hears about. Like in that email, we don't even know what happened. I seriously doubt people have heard about my vandalism incident (even though it was reported), and even fewer still will know about the assault that I endured. Most of the people here probably think things are just super. Guys come in here, they drink and sleep their way through classes, they cuss and insult each other, they frat and haze, they break laws and have a good time, and then they leave. Like nothing ever happened. Nothing gained but a diploma, nothing lost but some brain cells. 

 But if Hampden-Sydney still claims that they've been

Then we need to start doing something about actually teaching the students about what is okay and what is not okay. 

This finally brings me back to my original point: Respect. Hampden-Sydney students need to be taught about how to respect one-another. We need to respect that there are things we should and should not do. We need to respect those tenants of the Honor System that we all agreed on, rather than just the second part. 

The honor code (no lying, cheating, stealing) is pretty much the only things students consider. Even then, they lie, cheat, and steal all the time. only time, perhaps, that the code is considered is when we're working on papers. In addition to this, since the Honor Code doesn't say anything specifically about vandalism and assault, does that mean it's okay to do them? 

Meanwhile, the code of conduct sits in a corner hiding away, forgotten. People do not act like "gentlemen" at all times and in all places. Obviously not. But it's like they often don't even try to do so.

I've probably rambled enough so here's my points:

1. The school and everyone in it needs to be more responsible for informing one another when there is a problem.
2. Students need to be reminded that "Honor" does not simply mean "No lying, cheating, or stealing (on homework assignments)." 
3. Students should be reminded that the Code of Conduct does exist, and that it should be followed as closely, if not closer, than the Honor Code.

Respect and Honor walk hand-in-hand, Hampden-Sydney. Take a look at yourself and ask yourself if you're really being honorable.

-Sincerely and Passionately, 

Your Editor.

New Stories

Dear Audience,

As you've probably noticed, it has been a while since my last post. This is due, both, to a combination of 1) I'm actually a fairly busy student and 2) nothing terribly exciting has been going on.

I've been looking for new stories, or things to write about, so hopefully I'll have something up sometime soon. Chances are, it wont be as hard-hitting as the last articles, but I hope that you'll bear with me, all the same.

Remember that I do accept submissions from whoever wants to write, so if you have a story to tell, let me hear it!

Until then,
Your Editor

A Barnard-Shea Man

Readers,

The following is a short story written by a faculty member who wishes to remain anonymous. The writer submitted this work to me, and I thought that it would be a brilliant addition to the site. I hope that my readers like this story as much as I did.

--Editor



A Barnard-Shea Man



Barnard-Shea was a small private all-male college, one of only two such institutions in the United States. After 235 years of higher education in the U.S. these two colleges had succeeded in staying true to their original mission to educate “men only”. And of this history, Barnard-Shea students and alumni were most proud. Their pride demonstrated itself in a variety of ways. From the much quoted catch phrase “200 years of brotherhood” to the controversial bumper sticker “Barnard-Shea College, where men are men and women are guests”, the students were not lacking in ways to showcase their heritage. But it is possible that the greatest of these was the College’s honor code “A Barnard-Shea man will not lie, cheat or steal. Nor will he tolerate those who do.”

The honor code was carved in stone in the upper arch of the front gates leading to campus. It decorated the home page and adorned the glossy promotional materials sent out by the College. There was even a beautiful silk banner inscribed with the code. In the old days it had been hung high on the wall behind the pulpit in the chapel. But the banner was now kept carefully folded in a box gathering dust in the chapel’s basement. The vice-chancellor of the College, Allain Jackson, had ordered it put away for “safe keeping” soon after he arrived. “Such a priceless relic of the College’s glorious history is not meant for everyday use, but should be preserved for special occasions”, he had explained in one of his first addresses to the College community.

It was in one of those first addresses to the College that two freshmen, Grayson Ward and John Page, sat and listened, first skeptical but later enthralled by Jackson’s powerful rhetoric, satisfyingly seductive in its promise of hope, purpose and strong leadership. When Jackson said, “Barnard-Shea College has been blessed to play an important role in our country for over 235 years”, Grayson and John felt a connection with the College that they had not sensed before. They were part of the history of this place and they had a role in its future.

Jackson continued, “Although as an all-male institution, we now appear to be an irrelevant anomaly to some, we most assuredly are not! I am here to tell you that Barnard-Shea College is relevant, especially now. And we must ensure Barnard-Shea’s relevance by continuing to provide an intellectual haven, a fitting and suitable place for the leaders of tomorrow, a seat of learning where masculinity can be celebrated.”

Grayson and John were not the only ones impressed by Jackson. Although some faculty had been harder to win over, eventually most of the community celebrated his arrival. Allain Jackson brought new energy and a clear vision to Barnard-Shea. He knew the College needed to increase enrollment and regain economic strength. And he knew how to make this happen. Allain Jackson had gone to a top business school, where he had graduated with highest honors. He unapologetically endorsed a blatantly corporate organizational model. He was a master of marketing strategies and he had exciting ideas for selling the public on Barnard-Shea College in order to bring in more students and more donors. The community could hardly believe their good fortune. Jackson’s main strategy was to polish, promote and advertise the College’s image because “Image really is . . .”, he’d often start, waiting to hear his audience finish his quote by saying “Everything!”

“We’re competing for recognition in a saturated market,” he’d often tell them. “Skillfully marketing our image is essential. How we look to others is so important. We must keep that image polished.” The students especially listened to and learned from Allain Jackson.

The vice chancellor position was the second most important position in the college, right under the President. Bernard-Shea’s dear old President Garland was loved by all but he was a president who leaned heavily on his vice-chancellor. Vice-Chancellor Jackson stepped naturally into his role as campus leader. He quickly won the hearts of the students by joining them for breakfast in the cafeteria and recruiting anyone available for impromptu soccer matches on the quad. If he found out a student was having problems, he often took that student aside and advised him on how best to handle the situation. He had even taken the upper hand with the fraternities, establishing clear policies and administering swift punishments and sanctions when necessary.

And when the Dean of Students suddenly retired in the middle of his first semester, Jackson chaired the search committee for the new dean. He needed someone in that office who saw things the way he did. It would greatly facilitate communication and decision making would be so much easier. Any problems with fraternities, with student life, with substance or alcohol abuse went through the Dean of Students’ office and it was critical that anything potentially negative or damaging to the College be handled swiftly and quietly. There was too much at stake to let just anyone have this position.

Since the faculty and some members of his administration were sticklers for details, Jackson was careful to put together a search committee with representation from different parts of campus, including two faculty members and even a student. Grayson was honored when Jackson personally invited him to be a member of the search committee. But no one ever saw an official job ad announcing the position and inviting applications. Instead one day Jackson simply provided the search committee with a list of three candidates and their resumés. Two were unknowns but one was Barnard-Shea’s assistant football coach. This raised a few eyebrows, although Coach Jenkins was such a bad fit, no one took his candidacy seriously.

Jackson quickly organized the interviews and invited the search committee to have lunch with the candidates when they came to campus.

“Ask them the important questions. Don’t hold back,” he encouraged. “And then send me your comments by e-mail. Please be honest and detail for me any potential concerns you may have with a candidate. I want to know exactly how you feel.”

The committee was pleased that Jackson was open to hearing their opinions, although communication by individual e-mail to the Vice Chancellor raised a few eyebrows. It seemed odd to send an e-mail to him instead of having a meeting. But everyone expected that Vice-Chancellor Jackson would convene the committee for at least one meeting, even if it was at the end, so that everyone could share their opinions and vote for their candidate. Because this was how search committees worked. Everyone had a chance to be heard and to vote.

The two unknown candidates came to campus and the committee ate lunch with each of them before they went to the Vice-Chancellor’s office for the other part of the interview process. After the lunches, as the committee members talked amongst themselves, they realized they really liked the first candidate, a Dr. Thomas. He was thoughtful, reasonable and very personable. And not only did he have five years’ experience in a Dean of Student’s office on another campus, he was also a trained counselor. Perfect fit, thought the committee members and they described in detailed e-mails to Allain Jackson why Dr. Thomas was their first choice and why Coach Jenkins could not seriously be considered for the position. As one faculty member wrote, “I have known Coach Jenkins for years. He is a nice man, but he has no experience in administration, social situations are awkward for him and he hates to disagree with people. He’s a great assistant coach but he is not the right man for the Dean of Students position.”

Like most members of the search committee, Grayson preferred Dr. Thomas for the position as well. He seemed easy to talk to and he had some creative ideas for changing things up around Barnard-Shea. So when Vice-Chancellor Jackson called Grayson into his office and asked him his thoughts about the candidates, Grayson told him his first choice was Dr. Thomas.

Immediately Vice-Chancellor Jackson’s smile disappeared. He looked worried.
“Grayson, you can’t be serious. You know there are some real concerns about Dr. Thomas. I don’t know if you have heard, but there are some rumors circulating about why exactly he wants to leave his current job. I think it’s important for you to remember that we don’t know Dr. Thomas. And it’s not a good idea for us to put someone we hardly know into such an important position. No, Grayson. We need to think about what is best for the College. And I’m counting on you to vote for someone who knows Barnard-Shea College and loves it as much as we do.”

Vice-Chancellor Jackson put his arm around Grayson’s shoulder.

“I know I can count on you to make the right choice, Gray. The College is in a delicate position just now, economically speaking, and a smooth transition to a good candidate like Coach Jenkins is just what we need to keep everything stable. Now, I’m sure I don’t have to remind you that this conversation is just between the two of us. Information like this is strictly confidential in order to protect each of the job candidates. Remember, if you are a Barnard-Shea man, you are a man of integrity. Always remember that it is our honor code that sets a Barnard-Shea man apart from the rest.”

Jackson gave Grayson a meaningful look before he ushered him out of his office.

As Grayson reflected on the conversation later on that night, he felt a little uncomfortable. It didn’t seem right that Vice-Chancellor Jackson should tell him how to vote. But maybe this is how it was supposed to work. The Vice Chancellor must have his reasons for preferring Coach Jenkins. And since Grayson really looked up to Vice-Chancellor Jackson, he voted for Coach Jenkins when he sent in his e-mail comments, although he really wanted Dr. Thomas to be the new Dean of Students.

The faculty representatives to the search committee also felt pressure from Jackson to vote for Coach Jenkins but they voted unanimously for Dr. Thomas. Because everyone sent in their vote by e-mail to the Vice-Chancellor and there was never a meeting in which opinions could be shared and listened to, no one knew that at least half of the committee members had resisted the pressure from Jackson to vote for Coach Jenkins and had voted for Dr. Thomas.

A week or so later, Vice-Chancellor Jackson announced in a faculty meeting in the chapel that the College was pleased to appoint Coach Jenkins as the new Dean of Students. There was a shocked silence in the room. Coach Jenkins! This couldn’t be. No one liked the idea of questioning the Vice-Chancellor, but one brave history professor finally raised his hand and asked, “Are you telling us that the majority of the search committee voted for Coach Jenkins?”

Vice-Chancellor Jackson’s reply was confident. “I am happy to report that a real consensus emerged from the search committee in favor of one candidate. I asked for all the committee members to write me their comments and I am pleased to say that any differences of opinion were marginal.” Here he stretched out his index finger so that it hovered about a quarter of an inch above his thumb to indicate the minimal differences in opinion among the committee.

The history professor bravely continued. “I, uh, I, well there just seem to be some irregularities here, Vice-Chancellor.”

The room was silent as everyone watched the Vice-Chancellor stare coolly from his podium down on the professor.

“I’m not sure what you are insinuating, Professor Morris. I can assure you that the College followed every federal and state regulation concerning the job search. There was a search committee, there were on-campus interviews, all committee members shared their opinions and a decision was reached.”

Another faculty member spoke up. “Was there a job announcement or even a job description?”

The Vice-Chancellor’s voice had an edge to it now. “Of course there was a job description. I am happy to show it to anyone who wants to see it. And I want to take this opportunity to affirm to everyone here that this was a legitimate job search. I also need to remind you that specific job search details are confidential and protected under state law. I am afraid that I am not going to be able to speak with any more detail in order to protect each of the candidates. And I remind all search committee members of the confidentiality agreement they are obliged to follow in this regard. He paused and changed rhetorical strategies. “As you all know, the College was under a good deal of pressure to find a candidate quickly and without a lot of expense. And we did this.”

At this point, a professor from the math department stood up and said “There is a general concern among the faculty that search committee never met-“

Before he could finish, the Vice-Chancellor interrupted him and said, “I don’t understand. Are you all questioning how I did my job as head of the search committee? I can assure you that the search committee was consulted at every point in this process. I guess in hindsight I could have called everyone together for one final meeting, but the majority of the committee made their choice for the position clear and I appointed Coach Jenkins.” Here his look became very stern.

“I am sure that I do not need to remind everyone that the College is on the verge of emerging from significant economic difficulties and we are looking forward to entering a period of financial strength. But those who would sow seeds of doubt and mistrust among us could do us great harm. And do great harm to our students who look to us as role models. It is my job to guide this college and to lead these young men forward to secure and good careers. Help me help them!”

Grayson and his roommate John sat with the other student representatives to the faculty in their corner of the chapel.

John leaned over to Grayson and whispered mockingly,

“Jackson is brilliant. Do you see how he turned old Morris on his head? Ha, Ha! A Barnard-Shea man does not lie, cheat or steal. Nor does he …”

Grayson smiled and finished the code for him. “Nor does he tolerate any bullshit from anybody who gets in his way!”

“Jackson’s the man!” another student whispered.

And as Grayson was careful to point out to John after the meeting, Jackson had never really lied. He’d just rearranged the facts so that they looked better. It was clear he had wanted Coach Jenkins to be Dean of Students because this was what was best for the College. And he had made it happen. Jackson was still their hero.

And so it was painful for Grayson Ward and John Page, a year later, to be called to the Vice-Chancellor’s office, and to be seated in front of his desk with Dean Jenkins in attendance.

“You know, Mr. Ward and Mr. Page why you are here today?”, the Vice-Chancellor asked.

Grayson and John looked at Vice-Chancellor Jackson. Both nodded.

“You understand, Grayson and John, that hazing is a serious offense and that the College takes it very seriously.”

Both nodded again.

Vice-Chancellor Jackson continued, “I take it that you understand, then, what it is your fraternity is being accused of?” The Vice-Chancellor looked at the Dean of Students and then back at Grayson.

“Yes, sir,” said Grayson in a very small voice.

“Please explain it to me then. I want to make sure we are all clear on the charges.”

Grayson cleared his voice and began, “Someone made an anonymous call and reported an incident of hazing on the back porch of Epsilon Kappa Nu last night.”

“Specifically?” prompted the Vice-Chancellor.

Grayson looked nervously at John and then continued. “The anonymous caller reported that some of the pledges were told to drink a bottle of hot sauce, followed by a beer and then the bottles were broken and the pledges were told to do pushups on the broken glass.”

There was complete silence in the Vice-Chancellor’s office. The two men looked at the students. Both looked miserable. Grayson was the president of Epsilon Kappa Nu and John was the pledge master and both realized the gravity of this situation. They had been in the house last night and both of them had seen Jake and Patrick, two of the brothers, order five of the pledges to the back porch. Although Grayson and John had stayed in the living room with other members of the fraternity, they knew what was happening because it had happened to them. When they were pledges they had been separated from the rest of the group, ordered onto the deck and had been forced to eat cat food until they vomited. Last night they could see through the sliding glass door to the porch and it was clear that Jake and Patrick were bullying the pledges. They could hear shouting and they saw Jake shove one of the pledges onto the deck when he refused to drink from the bottle Jake was holding in front of him. Grayson and John and the rest of the brothers laughed and kept talking and were careful not to look out on the deck anymore. John had seen one of the pledges vomiting later on. One pledge had a purple bruise on his face near his eye and another had a fairly deep cut on his hand.

The Vice Chancellor’s voice broke the silence. “Is this hazing allegation true?”

Grayson and John looked at each other and it was John who spoke up. “Not exactly, no sir, that’s not really what happened.”

“Oh?” questioned the Vice-Chancellor Jackson.

“No, it wasn’t quite like that, ” continued John. “A couple of the brothers thought it would be funny to have a hot sauce tasting contest between them and the pledges. So they asked the pledges if they wanted to participate and when the pledges said yes, they offered the hot sauce to them, but as I understand it, only after they themselves had had some.”

Grayson broke in at this point. “And they didn’t really force the pledges to do this either. The pledges knew it was a contest. But they told us later they wanted to do it because they wanted to win.”

The Vice-Chancellor looked sternly at the two students. “And the push-ups on the broken glass?”

John was quick to answer. “Well, that never really happened. Granted, the two brothers who organized the hot sauce contest were going to ask the pledges to do pushups near the glass, and one pledge actually started to do pushups, but another brother went out on the porch and talked the other two out of that idea.”

John and Grayson did not look at each other. They looked straight at the Vice-Chancellor. They had gone over their story several times before the meeting to make sure it was consistent. They had decided that the best strategy was not to deny the actual incident but to make it appear less serious than it was by claiming that the pledges knew it was just a silly contest. The College policy regarding hazing was clear. Any suggestion or attempt to degrade, humiliate or bully a pledge was wrong. But John and Grayson had already spoken with all of the pledges and had warned them what could happen if they told the administration what really happened last night. The fraternity would be shut down, the pledges would never become brothers and the pledges would have no friends on campus if they ratted out the fraternity. And so through fear and manipulation they had guaranteed the pledges’ compliance. Everyone would tell the same story.

As John and Grayson sat in the Vice-Chancellor’s office they felt a sense of relief begin to rise in them. Although this was a serious situation, at least with their sanitized version of the facts the punishment would be limited to Jake and Patrick. They would most likely be banned from house parties for the rest of the semester, sanctioned with mandatory community service hours and required to apologize to the pledges for asking them to be a part of the contest. But the rest of the brothers would be safe. And the house would dodge a major bullet. They would be able to keep their pledge class and continue to have parties at the house as well as other social events.

The Vice-Chancellor looked at the Dean of Students and then back at Grayson and John.

“Gentlemen, is this the truth?”

“Yes, sir,” they both answered looking directly into the Vice-Chancellor’s eyes.

“I’m sure I don’t need to remind you of the College’s honor code. A Barnard-Shea man does not lie, cheat or steal. Nor does he tolerate-”, before the Vice Chancellor could finish speaking John interrupted him.

“We know the code, sir. And I can assure you, we are Barnard-Shea men to the core.”

The Vice-Chancellor nodded. He looked pleased.

“Well, gentlemen, we will be following up on this conversation by talking to the pledges. If their story corroborates what you are saying, then the sanctions will be limited to the two brothers who suggested the hot sauce contest.” Here Vice-Chancellor Jackson looked sternly at the students.

“I know I do not need to tell you how serious it would be for this to get out to the public. This is not the kind of publicity Barnard-Shea needs right now. In fact, it could be quite damaging. Speaking of which,” and here the Vice-Chancellor turned to the Dean of Students, “Coach, will you make sure your office issues a statement regarding our “zero-tolerance” stance toward hazing. We want to remind everyone that this kind of behavior is not tolerated on our campus. We don’t need any bad press right now.”

Coach Jenkins nodded an affirmative. Grayson and John left the Vice-Chancellor’s office. Allain Jackson left soon after as well. He was headed to another meeting. On his way to the meeting, he saw a piece of trash on the beautifully manicured quad. He shook his head, stooped and picked it up, carefully depositing it in one of the new, over-sized trashcans he had recently ordered for the College.

Blown Up!

Readers,

Due to the sudden influx of page views on this blog (I'm actually getting hundreds a day now!) I decided to add another story about submissions. I'm desperate for people who want to help me write stories for this blog. I can give out assignments, or accept submissions, or whatever. If there's something on campus or about the school that you think should be talked about, let me know about it! Send submission requests and things of the like to me at walter.mccoy91@gmail.com. I hope to hear from you guys soon!

--Editor